Too Many Assholes Not Enough Time

They say if you wrestle with pigs you're bound to get dirty. I will have to mark this endeavor as, at best, a semi-failure. I found the more I read the blogs with an eye for the assholes the more I found myself feeling overwhelmed. There's just too much nastiness for one person to sift through without getting tainted as well. Consider this experiment complete. Perhaps the answer lies in all of us becoming standard-bearers in the war on assholes.
Sic Semper Podicēs.

Ad Hominem Asshole Award

This is a common breed of Internet Asshole, one that resorts to name calling or belittling personal attacks to support their position. While the person may even have some valid points they lose all credibility because they themselves don't have enough conviction without falling back on "Well you're wrong because you're less of a person than I am."

The Voice of Reason(A misnomer?) takes home this award from his/her comment on the Seminole Heights Blog
A person who believes differently must lack maturity and needs to grow up. Perhaps Voice you should grow up and learn to debate without the name calling. Congratulations Asshole.

In Lieu of an Internet Nominee Let Me Introduce the General Asshole Award

With the lack of any local Internet-related Asshole activity, I will throw out an award for Largo City Commission and their handling of the Steve Stanton situation. I have a difficult time seeing how this isn't a case of gender discrimination though the legal definition of gender will certainly be argued. It's unfortunate that they couldn't just do the right thing, and keep this the non-issue(from a city governement standpoint) it should be.


Congratulations to those members of the Largo City Commission that had a hand in this for being complete Assholes.

I Guess We Can All Get Along

So far so good, but bad for business. While it's nice to see so many polite exchanges, it's not making my new blog any easier. I haven't seen any real award-worthy Internet activity the past couple of days, but I am vigilantly watching. Don't let me down.

Weekends Off

One rule I am applying to this venture is taking weekends off. I will occasionally follow the blogs on weekends, but will most likely post anything I find of interest on the following Monday. I've received some positive feedback on this project so far, anyone have an opinion?

Goader, that is a great idea regarding the toilet paper roll. If I might build on that, I think I might rate the Assholes according to the number of sheets they warrant. Eg. this one is just a little one sheeter, that guy needs half a roll, that sort of thing.

A Certificate of Achievement

My desktop publishing skills are crap. In spite of that I thought, perhaps, I should create an award certificate. Here's my first go at it.

Asshole of the Week Award?

http://sticksoffire.com/2007/02/23/forty-three-year-old-punk-ass-kid

Thanks go to Tommy of Sticks for this. Mr Gregory Hart has earned distinction by taking the act of being an Internet Asshole to new heights. For that we bestow upon him the Asshole of the Week award. While not exactly an IAJAI, the way in which the Internet was utilized just to be an Asshole, makes it worthy of the honor. Congrats Greg!

*Asshole of the Week award is a new feature*

New Category of Asshole

The Idle Threat Commenter.

Thanks go out to:
Out In Left Field Commenter Mr. H.

*Update* Ms CC's comment from the same post entitles her to receive distinction as well. Way to go!

Here's a prime example of taking a decent comment that appears to be thoughtful critique and turning it into an asshole post: I'm not reading your blog anymore, because I disagree with you. Folks, here's a clue, don't say it, just do it. Read or don't read, it's the currency of the blogosphere so choose to spend it somewhere else if you don't like the product. Throwing out threats to go somewhere else is like telling the oil companies: "I'm not buying any more gas." Try that for a while.

A Few Ground Rules or Guidelines

This is a living project and as such it will survive and evolve or wither and die. A few thoughts on some guidelines follow:

I will use the terms Asshole, Asshat, Assbag, Ahole, or IAJAI(Instant Asshole Just Add Internet) interchangeably. I prefer the term Asshat, but Asshole seems to be more universally acceptable.
*Edit* In honor of Jeff-"no-talent ass-clown" may also be used.

Instant Asshole, to me, means two things. One, that at the moment the person is displaying attributes usually associated with being an asshole. Two that it may or may not be a fleeting situation. The designation typically doesn't attempt to delve into anything other than that moment though repeated selections for the designation might indicate that the recipient is a full-time Asshole.

Just because a person is an IAJAI doesn't mean they are a full-time Asshole, conversely, a full-time Asshole might never have an IAJAI moment. Though, someone can certainly be either or both.

How do I define these moments of Asshattery? As Justice Potter Stewart aptly said in Jacobellis v. Ohio, "I know it when I see it."

Depending on how this project goes we may see nominations for other examples of Asshattery.

For the record, I will freely admit that I myself have fallen victim and on the rarest of occasions been an IAJAI. When I was called-out by someone close to me, I reflected upon it and grew as a person. Maybe someone else can benefit from the same kind of illumination. Or maybe I just want to haul them all out for public ridicule. Could be either one, make up your own minds.

Inaugural A-hole Forthcoming

I am feverishly scouring the local blogs for the Inaugural Asshole to usher in the new blog. It's quite the honor so I don't want to sell anyone short. It should be a day or two, as I already have a few contenders. I might even call it a draw and bestow the distinction on several at once. Don't go away, right back here soon.

Let's See If This Works

My friends and I were talking the other day and the topic came up of how the Internet can bring out the asshole in even the nicest people. Give a "Good Church-going Christian" a picture of a teacher holding a wine glass and her robe slightly open and BANG a spew of sewage comes flying out of their fingers and on to the Web. Or take a taxi driver with some strong opinions, and the assholes come out of the woodwork to voice their ideologies. Anyhoo, I decided to embark on a journey, a social science project of sorts. I want to try to capture some of those Instant Asshole moments. I make no apologies in advance, but be warned that the spotlight just might all on you. Often times these IAJAI's are anonymous commenters, but sometimes they are bloggers just like you and me. Wish me luck! Also, please if you have examples of IAJAI activities, pass them along. I am going to try to sift through the local blog scene as well as other places where these buggers rear their ugly heads.